Only the Moon Knows
by scarylolita
Summary: When it comes to Sasuke, Naruto takes what he can get. Post-epilogue, NaruSasu.


**Naruto © Masashi Kishimoto**

 **Super short little fic that was on my mind for a while.**

 **NaruSasu was my first ever OTP and I don't think I'll ever stop loving it tbh.**

* * *

Naruto moves through the forest surrounding Konoha, walking leisurely under the dim moon. He follows familiar chakra until he reaches an area where the trees are sparser. In the center, he finds Sasuke sitting on the grass and meditating. This is often where Naruto finds him, especially when it's late in the day or later in the night.

"Hey, bastard," Naruto greets his friend, announcing his presence though he already knows Sasuke is aware of him.

Sasuke's lips quirk upward. "Hokage," he responds, not opening his eyes.

Naruto can't help but smirk at that. He leans against a tree, crossing his arms. "Sasuke, we're thirty-two years old now. I think we're long past you calling me by my title. For that… and other reasons."

It creates a distance. Then again, there are times when Naruto wonders if that is exactly what Sasuke wants to do.

Sasuke lets out a sigh and finally opens his eyes, rising to his feet. "What do you need?"

Naruto approaches him until they are standing face to face. Then he leans forward, gingerly kissing the man in front of him. "I wanted to see you," he says. "I always want to see you. What other excuse do you need?"

Sasuke relents. "What if people see?"

"It's late. No one is around these parts."

They promised to keep it a secret. They promised never to talk about it once the moment was over. They promised it would never be more than a sometimes thing. They promised a lot, but there are nights when these promises grow difficult to keep. There are nights when they both feel lonely and vulnerable, the way secrets often make people feel. Desperation sinks in and all they want is to find each other. Sometimes Sasuke finds Naruto. Sometimes Naruto finds Sasuke. Other nights, they run into one another by chance, almost like it's meant to be.

Naruto spins Sasuke around and slips a hand beneath the rim of his pants, sliding it further south. Sasuke lets out a soft moan, wrapping his fingers around Naruto's wrist. "Wait…"

"Hm?" Naruto questions, halting.

Sasuke turns back around and cups Naruto's face, pecking him on the lips once, twice and then a third time. "Let's do it different this time. Let me look at you."

Naruto softens. "Yeah… All right."

Sasuke takes off his robe and lays it on the grass before leaning back on it. Naruto sinks down with him, pushing his knees apart and hovering over him. He reaches a hand and pushes the thick, black hair out of Sasuke's fair face, staring at him. Sasuke is beautiful, Naruto can't help but think. Beautiful and soft, almost like a woman – like Hinata...

Clothes are pushed out of the way and they touch one another in a way they both missed.

"You feel looser," Naruto comments tactlessly.

Sasuke lets out a sigh. "That's what happens, Naruto. We've been doing this for a long time, after all."

And it's true.

When they fuck, it's slow and gentle – the way it always is. Naruto treats Sasuke preciously, in a way that no one has done before.

Sasuke wraps his arm around Naruto's neck, keeping him close. He lurches with each thrust. "Ah, Naruto…"

Naruto pauses. "I like when you say my name," he says, staring down at Sasuke. "You say it so rarely these days, it almost sounds foreign. You only say my name when we're like this."

Sasuke scoffs and then flushes, but he doesn't say anything. He never knows how to respond to Naruto's sentimentality. He closes his eyes, letting himself get lost in the sensations of it all. He lets out a soft, ragged moans and shudders, putting a palm over his mouth when he cums. It pleases Naruto to see him writhe around, no longer impeccably stoic. Naruto prides himself on being the only one to see Sasuke like this. He knows this is not the kind of sex Sasuke has with his wife. It's the kind of sex he has with Naruto and that's it. The thought alone always brings Naruto over the edge. He stares down at Sasuke, watching his facial expressions. The knots leave his expression when they're together and he looks content, even now.

When it's over, Sasuke stares up at Naruto and thinks about how much he has changed as the years went by. He wears his blond hair shorter and his face has matured, but his eyes are just as intense as they've always been. When he stares at Sasuke, he always feels it.

After a minute, Sasuke lifts his hips and hikes his pants back up. Naruto does the same and lies down next to Sasuke for a few minutes. "I think about you the most," Naruto murmurs. "It makes me feel like a bad person. I guess I am. I get selfish."

"I think about you the most, as well," Sasuke admits, staring up at the bits of sky visible above the tree leaves. "I always have. I don't care if that makes me selfish."

When Sasuke finally returned home all those years ago, Naruto still wanted more from him. That feeling was mutual. They both disguised the one thing they wanted from each other as something else entirely. Rivalry. Attention. Friendship. But it was always love. Love, in the purest sense of the word.

"I love you," Naruto murmurs for the first time in his life.

Sasuke closes his bleary eyes. The words sting. "Yeah. I know."

"And you love me," Naruto adds.

"Yeah," Sasuke repeats himself. "I know." The words sink deep into his gut, feeling anything but pleasant. As much as he'd like to deny it, he knows he can't. He's always felt this way. What he feels for Naruto is something that never went away. By now, he knows it never will. He'll always be in love with someone he can never have.

"I want to keep you," Naruto whispers and the words come out cracked, pained and broken, like so many past promises. "I wish I could have."

The confession makes Sasuke's throat tighten unpleasantly. Of course, he knows it. He knew it all along. It was never a secret, but it was also something Naruto had never said aloud. The words came too late. Today they are no longer children. They are grown men. They are married men with children and wives who love them and doing this always makes them feel like bad people.

Sasuke emits a shuddery sigh, forcing a smile even though he feels like his heart is splitting. He suddenly feels tired. He turns his head to glance at Naruto and sees the age in his eyes where the years have gone by. He emits a laugh that sounds more like a sob and finally responds with, "Well, you can't…"

Because it's too late. It's too late for confessions. It's too late for promises because they have both learned so many times that the promises they make to one another can never be kept. This one would have been no different.

But they've learned to be satisfied with having this much of one another. They were doomed from the start, living in a world that would never approve of what they feel for one another.

Sasuke stands up and offers a hand to Naruto, who takes it and then rises, but doesn't let go just yet. He leans forward, kissing Sasuke. They are sloppy, open-mouthed kisses. Sasuke closes his eyes, remaining still even after Naruto moves away. When he opens his eyes, he simply says, "I need to clean off... I'm going home. Sakura starts to worry when I'm gone all night."

Naruto nods. "Hinata worries, too."

"Are you okay?" Sasuke wonders.

"Are _you_?" Naruto retorts.

Sasuke smiles wearily, staring down at their still linked hands. "I am if you are."

"I take what I can get," Naruto responds. He says it like a joke, but he means those words with every fibre of his being. He knows that this is as close as they'll ever get to being whole. "Until next time, Sasuke," he says, finally letting go of Sasuke's hand.

Sasuke nods his head as the they part ways. "Goodnight, _Hokage_."

 **Fin.**


End file.
